I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
