so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
