i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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