i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
