You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
