There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
