yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
