what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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