I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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