fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
