i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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