How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize