I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it's like iHOP with fire
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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