i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
