He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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