You can't motorboat a personality
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
