Fuck appropriateness.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
