I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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