Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
