Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
