that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
