hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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