I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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