Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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