when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
we're so committed to being not committed
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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