Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
