I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
