giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
try to milk me bitch
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