you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
