I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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