coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
