.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
