dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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