real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
