This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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