I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
