Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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