try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
