ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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