Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
