Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
