'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Everclear isn't food dammit
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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