I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
