I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize