I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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