I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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