If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
