You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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