i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
