He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
