Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
