Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
