She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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