We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
