my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Houston, we have a squirter
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
