When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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