i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize